Published September 14, 2008
Air
Heavy Breaths of Purified air
Dessert
Weight
Wait
Are you hungry
No;
Want for the Sweet
Want for the unneeded
Want for what shouldn’t be had
Want for the thungs I love most
Want for the thing I despise most;
I must try
I rise
A dash from my quarters
I glide to the kitchen
Looking in the Fridge
I see what I want;
Glutton
I reach for my want
Bring it to my lips
A light touch
Heavy breaths of purified air;
Put it back
And reach below
The wise choice
The Melon is seen
The wise choice to make;
A piece is grasped
Brought to my lips
A light touch
I sink my teeth in the cold flesh
I drink the blood;
Another piece is sacrificed
I am lost
Piece after piece
Bite after bite
I cannot look back;
Far too late after
The thought is to stop
Though the need is to continue
My fingers are frozen
As is a metallic mouth;
A container is closed
I run
Run from the monsters
I run to my quarters
Heavy breaths of Purified air.
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141,418 Literary Works • 674,398 Reviews
Bravo!
I really liked this, and even if the title didn't say so, I could totally tell that it was from a personal experience (even if it wasn't.) All of the metaphors (and the similies, if there were any, but I don't think there were) were very clear as to what you were talking about.
The only thing wrong I found was:
It should be things. Probably just a typo, but still.
Very good job!
I really love this poem, mostly becuase it sounds exactly like myself. I can totally relate to this kind of experience, and you just put it into a bunch of perfect words. So thanks, I really enjoyed this poem.